Shine On

I’ve been doing a lot of grumbling lately, so I want to say thank you AND I’m sorry to those of you who have stood alongside me lately. This has been one of the scariest seasons of my life (and I’ve had some doozies) and I’ve absolutely hated it…but man am I growing.

I find so many parallels in my life and the stories of the early Hebrews. There’s a reason for that:

Now these things happened to them as an example, and they were written for our instruction…
1 Corinthians 10:11 (NAS)

The last couple months I have related strongly to the Israelites wandering in the desert, delivered a while out of Egypt but definitely not in the promised land. I read something this morning that set me down this track again.

The main source of their frustration and hungry grumbling, I think, was that the “promised land” was just an idea to them. It was a completely intangible promise. FAITH is required to keep walking towards a dream, especially when there is nothing around you to indicate there is any truth in it. They began to question the promise, question how to get there, question the giver.

The same exact tactics used against them are used on us today. In my impatience and frustration, I’ve also pulled my eyes off the promise and resorted to looking around. I see almost nothing that comes close to that dream I’ve been holding on to, waiting for. I’ve started to believe the lie that my dream is too big. I’ve started to consider compromise, just to take my mind off the monotony of sand and manna.

Here is one of the most chilling passages I’ve ever read:

They soon forgot His works;
They did not wait for His counsel,
But lusted exceedingly in the wilderness,
And tested God in the desert.
And He gave them their request,
But sent leanness into their soul.
Psalm 106:13-15

The lies we are told are brilliant – just a twist off of truth. Is a diet of sand and manna monotonous? Yes, sometimes it is! The fact is they weren’t MEANT to eat manna forever. God had no intention of keeping them on that diet long-term. It was simply meant to be a gift while they were in transition. He planned on giving them what they were hungry for, but he also had a right time and place in mind. He wanted them to wait until they arrived at the place they were called to occupy.

Demanding and eating the meat before the right time led to disaster – an unsatisfiable craving, wasting disease, leanness in their souls. It diminished their ability to enjoy life.

It’s so crazy how we keep choosing this option just because it’s tangible in the moment! If we would just wait one more minute in the grand scheme of things, we could have fullness of joy and pleasures forever (Psalm 16:11).

Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.
Galatians 6:9

I ask the Lord to show me lies I’m believing on a pretty regular basis. Today, I honestly didn’t want to hear it, but I let him talk to me about my dream again. Is it too big for me? Wrong question. Is it too big for HIM?

Oh…I do not love a common, ordinary, under-the-radar, go-with-the-flow, low expectations kind of god. Mine is spectacular! He is deep, loud, and magnificent. He shatters mountains with a whisper. He has spoken to me and through me. He has sent messengers to speak out loud. He is so much BIGGER than what we settle for! He calls greatness out of the common. He invites us to be more, to want more, to expect more, to have more.

Ugh – I’m so ashamed that I know this and yet struggle with faith! That I sometimes wish I could put out the spark he’s given just so I could “live simply” (stupidly) with the rest of society, or so I could justify a fleeting desire. Thankfully, he is not going to let me sabotage myself anymore. Once again, when I seek truth, there it is. Flooding me from every direction.

Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think.
Ephesians 3:20

Thank you for prayers, friends. Let’s keep believing for things we cannot see. He won’t give us a dream he can’t deliver.