The Loveliest Little All

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As my calendar get thinner and another year draws to a close, I find myself getting increasingly joyful. I know it’s silly – the end of a month or a year means nothing in the grand scheme of things. But still…I am excited to close the door on 2014, especially because the struggles I’ve had there end there.

Thank God, I’m at peace again.

It’s actually easy for me to boil what went wrong in my spirit this year down to a few simple words. Easy, because I consciously chose distraction over peace. Bitterness, envy, and a couple core lies crept in and I decided I would make my own decisions for a while, while desperately trying to justify them to myself and others.

I pray that I never make such a foolish decision again because, among other things, this year has really stunk. Talk about learning things the hard way. He has kept me in His hands, but it’s been gut-wrenchingly hard for me to re-surrender my will and get back to that place of intimate connection. And that’s a place that I have been longing for.

So I’m excited in this last week of 2014. I am waking up each day and choosing Him: Abundant Life over distraction, Perfect Love over any substitute. I hear His whispers to abide in Him: Remain in me, and I will remain in you. For a branch cannot produce fruit if it is severed from the vine, and you cannot be fruitful unless you remain in me. John 15:4.

To stop striving and simply trust Him: Be still, and know that I am God! Psalm 46:10.

To return to His heart: Let my soul be at rest again, for the Lord has been good to me. He has saved me from death, my eyes from tears, my feet from stumbling. And so I walk in the Lord’s presence as I live here on earth! Psalm 116:7-9

Today another of the sweetest gifts came wrapped in this little verse:

God is love, and all who live in love live in God, and God lives in them. And as we live in God, our love grows more perfect.
1 John 4:16-17

A reminder that this walk into perfect love is a journey, a process. That He IS wholehearted love. That He desires to be equally yoked too, and that means He’s looking for a partner who will love Him back wholeheartedly. And even though my whole heart is still a work in process, a million times smaller than His, embarrassingly weak, and painfully immature, it is genuine and sincere and it is enough. My tiny All is His treasure!!

How anything could have distracted me from the joy of that truth is beyond me, but I’m thankful to be experiencing it again. I joyfully hand Him my heart, my will, my every little thing. Come on 2015 – let’s go!

I have told you these things so that you will be filled with my joy. Yes, your joy will overflow!
~Jesus, John 15:11