He Sees Me in White


What an exciting and miraculous time!! I have found a (healthy, loyal, patient, funny, hardworking, honest, giant hunk of a God-loving) man! He is so FINE! We both love spending time together! We are making plans to spend the rest of our lives together! These are truly the most joy-filled words I’ve ever written.

And yet…there’s been something just under the surface I haven’t quite put my finger on. A tiny twinge of shame every time I post a picture of us on facebook. I am almost embarrassed at how wonderful he is, and how blessed I am. But more than that…I feel so unworthy of his love. I have never been so “watched” by people who love a man before. I mean, the man is surrounded!! I felt the same way when I met Jesus (no pressure, honey). The more I watch for their approval, the more inadequate I feel.

You know…it’s possible there are a couple people who are thinking along those lines – that he could be better loved elsewhere, and are less than thrilled to see us choose each other – but I’m pretty sure almost all those thoughts are coming from one head. MINE.

Like I said, this little thorn has been hanging out in the periphery where I could barely see it, but this week it can hide no longer. This week, I’ve been tasked with finding The Dress I’ll wear to meet my husband. He wants it to be white, to celebrate the fact that we have both been washed and made whiter than snow (Psalm 51:7), and because what we have together is pure and belongs to the Lord. As I have struggled to pick one…it hit me. My man sees me that way. Jesus sees me that way. Why don’t I??

They will walk with me in white, for they are worthy. All who are victorious will be clothed in white. I will never erase their names from the Book of Life, but I will announce before my Father and his angels that they are mine.
~Revelation 3:4-5

Like most lies we believe, there’s a tiny bit of truth to this one – I could never be “good enough” or do enough to earn the love Jesus has for me. There’s no amount of anything I could do that would make a man try to love me the way Jesus does. And there’s no way I can love this man as well as he deserves. These are simply sweet gifts that I can choose to receive, or not. To reciprocate with all I have, or not.

I am happy that the Lord continues to draw me deeper into love more perfect, revealing areas where I am walking outside His best for me and encouraging me to be more like Him. I am far from perfect, and I never want to go without hearing the words and nudges of the Holy Spirit. But OH. Lord forgive me for caring so much about what other people think about me!! For allowing the thoughts and feelings, real or imagined, of other people to influence the worth and value that He’s given me. I am chosen, I am redeemed, I am HIS!

Do not fear, for I have redeemed you;
I have called you by name; you are Mine!
~Isaiah 43:1

What a beautiful reminder to keep my eyes on HIM and HIM alone. I get so excited thinking about what He’s done for me, what He’s doing in my heart and life, and all I want to do with Him. And I am so thankful to be able to experience those exact things with a partner here in this lifetime. Jesus has taught me what Perfect Love looks like, and I’m thankful to have the opportunity to give and receive it to the best of my ability. I love that they see me in white.

I will rejoice greatly in the LORD, My soul will exult in my God; For He has clothed me with garments of salvation, He has wrapped me with a robe of righteousness, As a bridegroom decks himself with a garland, And as a bride adorns herself with her jewels.
~Isaiah 61:10

4 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Angela Brown
    Mar 03, 2016 @ 16:40:09

    You are very deserving! Matt 7:11, it’s your turn to receive God’s gift as you have asked. Enjoy loving and being loved!


  2. Norma Hullett
    Mar 04, 2016 @ 10:26:46

    Be Happy!


  3. Hope
    Mar 04, 2016 @ 15:58:49

    I love this!! “Whiter than snow, yes, whiter than snow!” I’m SO happy for you both!


  4. Geneva Huff Henexson
    Mar 04, 2016 @ 19:32:19

    Amy, I really love the way you’ve shared your heart of hearts. God’s love never ceases to amaze and just seeing what he’s done in your life is such a testimony. You’ve been faithful through the journey and I know you and Joel will have a wonderful life together…it was worth the wait! Blessings, sweet friend!!!


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