You be you. I’ll be Me

I woke this morning to His voice.

Living water!! Manna!!

He said, among other things, I’ve been trying to fabricate His spirit. Trying to generate it, recreate it out of my own. Struggling, struggling, struggling to create the atmosphere that only He can create. Getting frustrated and discouraged when I can’t do what I CAN’T DO. He capped it all off with this statement:

You be you. I will be Me.

Oh how I long for the sweetness of seven years ago, where I would wake up eager to see what He had to show me. I didn’t overthink everything. I loved my spiritual childhood!! When did this pressure to perform creep in?

One of my favorite teachers spoke this month about a misapplied trend to pursue the Lord by choosing the “right” things to do. [Do yourself a favor and watch this about four times: Using your will 4/11/17]  When I heard him say that, something in me rose up. I want to be a girl who goes hard after her Father’s heart. I want to seek and find more of Him. But today, I understand the point. There shouldn’t be a struggle of deciding what I should do “for” Him. Instead, there should be a desire and a willingness to receive what He’s handing each moment…so I can live “from” Him. Bob Hamp’s teaching (and Jesus’ for that matter!) is all about Receive, Contain, and Broadcast. Some of us are trying really hard to do that last one without getting the first two down.

Just ask.

Living without His spirit is not living. I have been in a dry and powerless place for a while now. And why? Because I’m working hard to bring it back instead of just asking.

Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.
~Jesus, Matthew 7:7

That’s what we’ve been asked to do – receive what He has for us. Let it come in and change us. And we can’t help but share it with others because it’s a miracle.

I am breathing deeper today because of His voice. I am thankful He sees my heart and knows I am sincere in my efforts, even when they are misapplied and so so wrong. But…He speaks!! He speaks to redirect and guide me back to truth and peace. That is unbelievably beautiful.

Dancing Out of Nowhere

Hand Reaching

Every single day it’s there.

In every story, I see it. In every song, I hear it…

The invitation to step out of my comfort zone. The outstretched hand imploring me to come dance. The whisper to be brave and walk into something I don’t even know.

And every day, I find a reason to stay where I am, feet stubbornly grounded in Nowhere. Because I know that place very well. I’ve actually been impressed at the creative excuses I come up with each day to stay here.

I was reading about a day in Jesus’ life this week. He told his disciples to do two things, both absolutely impossible and absolutely terrifying. First, he told them to feed a hungry mob of 5,000 men, plus women and children, with five loaves of bread and two fish. A bit later, he invited one of them to step out of a boat and join him walking on the waves.

These are stories many of us have heard since childhood and, for me, it’s been easy to read them from a critical perspective. You’re with Jesus, people!!

Well, it really hit me this week…I’m in the same exact shoes and doing a much worse job of walking in them. He is also with ME. He is also beckoning ME into unknown adventures too. And I just sit here looking at Him with reasons why I can’t join Him.

The truth is – like it or not, acknowledge it or not – we are simultaneously operating in two very different realities. One is the natural, which we see with our eyes and touch with our hands. The other is spiritual, supernatural, which we cannot see or touch.

Let me tell you something. It is absolutely terrifying to step out of a boat and expect a firm surface to walk on. Especially in front of your friends, coworkers, and family members.

It is absolutely terrifying to walk into a hungry crowd expecting to feed them with a piece of a breadstick and a fish tail. In the natural, that’s usually what it feels like I’ve got to offer.

What an honor that He asks us to partner with Him to do things that are absolutely impossible in the natural, and that He keeps asking! He reminds me – if He has asked us to do it, He will provide the miracle to make it happen. He will bless and multiply what little we have to offer. He blesses even the tiniest step toward Him.

So today, as boldly as I can, I hold up this tiny bite and ask Him to bless and multiply my efforts. To feed someone hungry to hear it, as it fed me this week. I don’t want to spend any more time in the shadows of Nowhere, no matter how comfortable it may be to hide there. I say YES to His invitation to dance into our adventure together.

“…when the Friend comes, the Spirit of the Truth, he will take you by the hand and guide you into all the truth there is.”
~Jesus, John 16:13 (The Message)